“vile and hateful”

30Aug10

When the last big meltdown happened two months ago, I contacted my husband’s ex. She replied and told me the situation with his family will never change.

You know those red flags you look out for when first dating? G told me he stopped working on his relationship with his ex after an intense altercation she’d had with his mother. His exact words were, “my ex said ‘vile and hateful’ things to me, but when she said these things about my mother, I stopped participating in the marriage.” After four long years of no longer loving her because she’d been “vile and hateful” to his mother, she finally left him. He recently told me he had been wrong for allowing his mother to treat his ex wife so badly. He had also told me his sister would “speak her mind” and tell B off as well. Looking back at those early conversations, I am horrified. He said B had been “vile and hateful”, his sister called my well-measured emails “vile and hateful”.

G and his family love the words “vile and hateful”. The dramatic sound of it.

Admittedly, in the beginning, I also blamed his ex. After all, how could any mother or siblings be that difficult? It couldn’t be that bad, right? I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Hi Victoria

First of all CONGRATS!! I heard you guys are pregnant. I think he needed that in his life. We had been drifting apart for a while. You are a very lucky woman, he is the best guy I have ever spent time with and I wish the two of you all the best.

Anyway, the mother and the sisters are a big part of our breaking up. He did not see it or just ignored it… not really sure. His mother? I saw her name on the caller ID and ran! Same with his sisters. I literally felt as though I was having a nervous breakdown at one point when she was visiting. I was shaking uncontrollably and crying for at least an hour after she said she was going to stay another whole week, I lost it. The chain smoking, the condescending smiles from her and her daughters, G thought I was the crazy one. D is pure evil that’s all there is to that. I feel sorry for you hun. I was sooooo happy when I knew I would never have to see them again even if it meant my marriage and leaving a beautiful home I worked very hard on, that’s how bad it was for me. Wow, I can’t believe D threatened to drive there and “take care of you” when you were 71/2 months pregnant….. she never went that far with me. All I have to say is good luck to you. It’s never going to change. Feel free to email and vent anytime you want. I had no one when I was in your shoes. No one believed me when I said it was THAT bad.

Sincerely,
B

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2 Responses to ““vile and hateful””

  1. 1 Naima

    my MIL and her crazy daughter like to say, “spewing venom” other people spew venom, tho they never do.

  2. Hello Naima

    Uhgg. Of course, they are perfect. It amazes me that people can be so severally inappropriate and think that their behavior must be tolerated.


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