fake book


I posted the ultrasound stills of the baby on Facebook and anounced the pregnancy.  A slow, wry smile formed across my face as I typed, “we are so excited and drunk with joy” (or, something like that)  If all those “friends” and relatives I rarely speak to knew that only a couple of days ago I was fantasizing about aborting and then throwing myself off a bridge, they’d be surprised.  Wait a minute, what a lame fantasy, why wouldn’t I just throw myself off a bridge?

I’m feeling much better today after hearing the news that the baby is healthy. So much of my depression comes from anxiety and worry- most of the time about absolutely nothing.

Any which way, the truth is that we really are excited. For me, adjusting to pregnancy and the reality of having a child has been much more intense than I was prepared for. G has also gone through his own adjustment period, however, it’s been overshadowed by my losing my mind.


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